With great pain comes great growth.

Seven years ago, a post like this would be full of heartache, pain and intense emotion. That is not to say seven years later I don't have those things. They still exist inside of me and over the past seven years, they helped me. Finding gratitude in a loss of someone you love may sound awkward or weird. However, as I have worked on myself, my recovery and the relationships with the people in my life, you do find gratitude.

I cried every day for a year and a half until at some point, I didn't. Learning to grieve and lose everything while you grieve seems impossible. I was nine years clean when everything happened, and today I am sixteen years clean. I did over 365 meetings in a one-year time frame and my friends, family and network stood by me. I had to stay connected and trust the people close to me. I had to ask for help.

To get comfortable with being uncomfortable is very difficult, and I was so uncomfortable I was anxious and suicidal. That is where I found a way to ask for help and call the hotline. With great pain comes great growth, if you do the right things. Doing the right thing isn't always easy and sometimes feels impossible. I had to realize and understand I was going from a moment that I was completely powerless to moments where I had the power of choice. Not all of my choices were right, but I learned with every choice I made. Suddenly I was trusting God, instead of resenting God. I put faith into something greater than me and things got a little easier. Like I said earlier, I cried every day, until I didn't. Two weeks under 1013 watch can help the process and I'm not ashamed of that. No one should be, because it's what I needed.

Today I am a business owner, an award-winning author and try every day to be a good man. I am not perfect at any of that, but I do my best. I got to this point because of the heartache, pain, emotions and grief. It helped build me to the man I am today. I don't take things for granted like I used to, and I cherish the people in my life. Today is the 7-year anniversary of losing her and it reminds me to stay grateful for what I have and remember the memories and good times I had with her. Love those you have lost and love those who are with you. They will all help you grow in some way.